My last trial game for Gillingham was against Wokingham town a non-league club and in this game I was with two other lads on trial from Wimbledon and West Ham. I started the game and played with Andy Ansah (unbelievable tekkers) Richard Carpenter (Brighton and hove Albion) and was upfront with Darren Freeman again. Andy Ansah was a gent and a real supportive guy. His words he gave me prior to kick off stuck with me for the whole time I was a footballer, he said in no un-certain terms WHEN YOU GET THE BALL, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND BELIEVE YOU WILL BEAT THE MAN THAT’S INFRONT OF YOU. Supreme confidence given before a big game and it helped. We had Tony Pulis watching the match. I played 75mins and he took off all 3 trialists. The managers words to us were, you all played well and we want to see you again at training etc.

I left thinking that I was so close to getting my first pro contract, I showered and went to the grounds bar to mix it up with the rest of the team. As I finished my drink I approached the reserve team manager Kevin Bremner who looked like a pantomime dame villain with a hairdo usually seen on Freddie Starr after he had had sex. Bremner said that they didn’t want to see us again, and as I said the gaffer said he wanted us back, he didn’t care and was just rude and said that’s it your time with us is up. I will never forget the way he treated me and I’m sure I wasn’t the only player to have had treatment like this but in the long run it did me the world of good as It only enabled me to go onto bigger and better things in TÜRKIYE.

The British agent was unhappy with the way I was treated but that was the way things worked out. I was a player and just another kid who had promise and talent to make them lots of money. He wasn’t rude and was understanding and I said my time with the British game was up and I was going to try my luck in Turkey. He didn’t snigger but I could tell he wasn’t impressed as small minds back in the 90’s didn’t believe football or footballers from Turkey could cut the mustard with the footballing elite. My family had links in Turkey and we set about sorting trials out. The Turks loved the fact they had a British Turk wanting to play in Turkey and as I had been brought up with the English game they knew I could handle the physical side of the game. The trials were set and Galatasary and Altay had taken a big interest, Gala had an amazing youth team (paf takim) and Altay were seen as a good club as they had produced some greats such as Alpay Özalan who funnily has a wife called CANSEL, the same name as me. Why the f••k did my Baba give me a unisex name? Oh well if this was to go wrong I could always put lipstick on my lips to see if the hoca (coach) wanted a kiss to enable me a spot in the first team.

Everyone in the UK was laughing, saying you won’t make it, you’re not good enough, your too small etc. etc. People hated the fact I was knocked down but bounced back and spoke like a true champion not in fear of anything. I told people I was good and proudly said I was off to a club with the world’s best fans and one that competed in the Champion’s League and not a shoe shining league such as the Vauxhall conference. Optimism is indeed a faith that leads to success. I was packed and ready to go, Heathrow airport awaited and flying with Turkish Airlines had me sh••ting my pants. Captain Hakan and the shish stewardesses petrified me as I hate flying and it was a journey into the unknown. My Turkish was very limited speaking wise but I had no fear as I was unknown in Turkey. The nerves were different and stomach cramps were more at ease as I was going to be accepted rather than turned away for being small and an outsider with a foreign background.

I was getting ready and proudly wore my Cim-Bom tracksuit on the plane as I wanted to give out the impression I was a pro and a future world hero ready to be Turkey’s biggest no1 export. Football was life and I remember when Manchester United got beat by Cim-Bom in the Champion’s League. Turkish football was getting noticed and I was a Galatasaray fan so it was an honour. My grandfather was no longer with us and he was a big fan of Beşiktaş and always bought me Gala shirts. I had points to prove and I wanted to come back to the UK with my head held high saying f•ck you I have just signed for a club of massive stature. I was getting picked up by Burak Kut a huge pop star in Turkey at that time and he was in fact bigger than Tarkan in 96/97. Turkish lifestyle and culture was unknown to me, I didn’t understand what was going on and just how big all the things lined up for me were.

The adventure just gets going and the craziness gets larger than life. Burak Kut and Meltem Cumbull who are big friends with my father were the ones who opened my eyes to the beauty of Istanbul and what was ahead. Celebrity pick-up and a trial at Galatasaray? People dream about moments like these, I was living it :).